Missing Something??

Missing something?

I'm missing you the way you once was
I'm missing the way you speak
I'm missing the way you move
I'm missing your present


I miss the way you see things
I miss your essences
I miss your attitude
I miss your love


I'm missing your boldness
I'm missing that bitch within you
I'm missing the way you smell
I'm missing the way you make me feel


I'm missing ME

Damn right it's a misunderstanding...

Misunderstood yes...



It's a misunderstanding because I constantly have to defend myself...
The misunderstanding is that I really do care...
I'm misunderstood because I'm secretive...


It's a misunderstanding because you feel this need to test my patience...
The misunderstanding is that I do have much love within for you...
I'm misunderstood because I still do have love for her...


It's a misunderstanding when you won't allow us to be...
The misunderstanding is I'm only human...
I'm misunderstood because of my past...


It's a misunderstanding because you want let my past go and accept the fact that my present and future is all that matter...
The misunderstanding is you feel that I'm unhappy and unsure...
I'm misunderstood because you don't believe...


DAMN RIGHT it's a HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING and I'M DONE TRYING

Love is an arrogant wave of happiness

Something that need to be posted by Destine To Believe
The constant clanging of the tracks underneath were almost soothing for the weary soul, A sigh brought down the chest and emptiness filled back the lungs. No feeling, No ample reason for hope. The lights flickered, voices enticed my sanity. A glance up at the window unveiled a chilling discovery. The confused, writhing face of a ghost stared back at me. Searching for some meaning, I looked there in her eyes. Longing to reach out and embrace her pain and sorrow, I could not. She sat still with a look of anguish on her face. No one could know her intentions for she herself did not control them. Her sadness implied she had fallen ill to the control of others, she was a puppet with no say in her own destiny. The strings that controlled her were not manipulated by one, but rather many puppet masters. She realized she had no control over her life, her head fell into her hands like a rag doll that was dropped to the ground. I doubted she had ever smiled by the deep crease in her forehead. Tears started to paint her face, and like steel I felt something heavy roll down my own cheek. I put my hand to my face and watched as she did the same. I was this ghost, she was a fragment of who I was. As I stepped off the train I vowed to clip my strings and rid my ghost of failure who haunted me. Yes, love is indeed arrogant when flaunted in your face, but it is something all most allow themselves to experience at one time or other in life

FADED

I HAD TO POST THIS BY SHELBY... MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

I WAS SO FADED WITH LOVE THAT DAY , SO CONFUSED THE DAY I ALLOWED YOU TO SLITHER IN MY HEART
I WAS SO FADED THAT DAY I LET YOU SLIP INTO ME
I WAS FADED WHEN YOU SLIPPED INTO ME.. ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU SLIPPED THAT GOOD STUFF INTO ME, THAT LOVE, THAT BURNING LOVE, THAT DESIRE, THAT FIRE, THAT BURNING HEART WRENCHING LOVE
IT KILLED ME WHEN YOU LIED, CHEATED AND BURNED MY SOUL WITH FIRE
FIRE THAT BURNT ME BEYOND RECOGNITION.
YOU GAVE A STRANGER UR HEART AND THEY FADE YOU
FADED YOU
FADED YOU PLENTY
FADED UR SOUL
BEYOND CONTROL
FADED OUR MINDS
FADED OUR LIFE
FADED SHONDA

Heavy Heart

Heavy heart...What troubles do I face?
Heavy heart...Why are you so delicate?
Heavy heart...Why must you ache?
Heavy heart so unfamiliar
Heavy heart not so pure
Heavy heart trying to beat the odds
Heavy heart...Why?
Heavy heart...Who will I turn too?
Heavy heart my heart is broken
Heavy heart I was taken
Heavy heart take this pain away
Heavy heart...Why burden me?
Heavy heart... What's with the bitterness?
Heavy heart you must go
Heavy heart release your grip
Heavy heart such a heavy heart
Heavy heart... What a disappointment
Heavy heart fight
Heavy heart stand and be strong
Heavy heart you're not a victim
HEAVY HEART... OVERCOME
HEAVY HEART... BE HAPPY
I surrender this heavy heart
Goodbye Heavy Heart

!!!QUESTIONS!!!

So many questions so little answers...

I'm faced daily with questions that has know particular right or wrong answers

Should I stay?

Where do I go?

Should I start school?

Should I wait on love?

What is happiness to me?

Faced with question but have know idea on my plans...
I have this opportunity to move to Missouri with a job offer
I feel more doors will open if I stay in Illinois
I feel like I'm stuck and not moving forward in my quest for a better me.

What am I to do?

Who do I turn to?

Who do I have as my support team?

What I'm I seeking?

Daily questions but still no answers nor suggestions...

I am broke with not a penny to my name but I feel so rich because I have something with-in that keeps me moving. I got a place to call home but this place isn't home to me anymore. My basic needs are met and I am thankful but my body, mind and spirit acquire something I see but can't grasp hold of

What do I do?

I have people... but not who I want to be going through this journey with me
I know it looks bad but once the good comes it's gonna be an amazing BLESSING.


The unknown is scary but to make decision without thinking is suicidal

Patient and Faith is all I have
Being Patient is hard but ever action has an reaction

Faith... I can't see it or touch it but I know somebody knows me and what's needed for me
I walk by faith and continue to ask questions.

What's next for me and my life?

Question??????

Vent

I need to vent because you got a Bitch twisted.

I'm trying to understand people but I just can't. I do take full credit for my imperfection but some people have some Nerves. I finally getting me together and for whatever reasoning people persist on playing with me. What the fuck??? My level of calmness is wearing thin, you call to tell me some bad news but on the day it happen I got no phone call. I don't understand your logic. Why bother me?? You act as if I was this horrible person and I need to be treated badly or something... when the fact is I gave you all that I had to give and more then I was willing. You sit on your damn pedestal and act like I'm the shit beneath your shoes... At this point in our lives we both need to grow and mature more I feel like a child that's being punish for wrong doing. I have accepted the fact that we are nothing but still in disbelief with the whole situation. I never wanted to have ill feeling toward you but I must admit last night showed me what you really think of me as a person. I'm a little sadden but relieved because now I have no per-conceived notion of anything pertaining to us. Again, I ask you to NOT CONTACT my circle of friends or ME for any reason. As far as your things left behind it's clear you don't want them so I will disposed of them so there's no reason for us to bother each other. Thank you for the giving my heart back.

My day

Stop waiting on someone to come save me
I forgot the inner strenght that was giving by GOD
I am stronger than I thought and once I prioritize my self-worth I saw clearer
I have had bad things happen in my lifetime but those things will never define who I am and where I want to go
Change is necessary but change comes only when you allow things to happen
I decided to stop re-opening old wounds
I am finally at peace
I found an indescribable sense of relief
I had to let go of false hope and see what I didn't have the courage to see
I've expected others to save me from myself and my problems
I allowed my circumstance to consume me and for that I am sorry
I have wasted precious time dwelling on my perception of what was right
I am so in-love with myself
I am loving myself in a way that is necessary
I thought it would be hard to live my life without an identity
My life begin once I freed myself from unhealthy things
I began once I allow GOD to be my only focus and purpose